"I could see you're only telling. . ."

It's an unfortunate thing when a lot of what our society is based on is lies. We lie in order to feel better about ourselves, lie so we don't hurt others, lie so we can get out of something we don't want to do?

    In my personal experience, when I am lied to (even if it is to save me from getting my feelings hurt), my ability to trust that person has diminished a great deal and I put that person on the same generic level as others who have hurt me. They may redeem themselves, but in the back of my head, there is always going to be that lingering doubt or question, "are they telling me the truth?"

    Personally, I would prefer for my feelings to be hurt by someone telling me the truth when I ask something. That way, I don't have to worry about them ever holding something from me.  Regardless, 9 times out of 10, I find out the truth and I can tell you, it hurts more than the initial truth. Much more.

    I understand we are not all perfect, but it would be nice to have someone be completely honest with me, 100% of the time. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering, "are you really in love with me? Is that really the reason you turned me down? Is that really the reason our plans were canceled? Is that really the reason you don't want to be with me? Is there really nothing wrong?"

    I'll admit, I have told my little white lies in the past, but I have mended my ways and I feel that I am genuinely an honest person, and I pride myself in that. Yes, I still slip up, but I almost always go back and correct my wrong.

    One of my best friends, ever, gave me this book that I had mentioned in passing to her. It is a book that I feel that all of us should read! It's called "Tiger, Tiger, is it True?" By Byron Katie.

    It's an amazing book that teaches you a new way of thinking. "Is it true that your family doesn't love you? No, they do things all the time that show you that they care about you and love you!" My point here is, just because you have someone lie to you, doesn't mean they don't love you, like you or whatever, but it still does not justify a lie.  At the end of the day, the only person you can count on going to bed with you and waking up with you, is yourself.

    The only thing constant in this world is change.

    To end on a different note, those of you who don't know, I am leaving for LA on the 13th of February. I am headed to the Kennedy Center American College Theatre Festival to present the production of Charm that I was in, and I also get to compete in the Irene Ryan competition as well! We will return on the 17th to finish the run of Will Rogers Follies at Weber State. Both are super fun shows! Since my friends in Utah can only see Will Rogers, come see it!

Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot?

Hello! I know it has been quite some time since my last post, but this post I felt appropriate to the new year.
   Initially, I was just going to make this a short facebook status about the 2012  year, but then realized that there was no way I could make it short.
    I also had another subject on my mind a lot, which I will be including at the end of this blog-session. 

Let's start at the beginning.
    2012 was one of the most difficult years for me. (Not to worry, this post isn't going to be a poor me post. lol.) After  a very difficult relationship that is far too complicated than I wish to go into over a blog my first big event of the year I would like to start off was, for me was being cast in Salt Lake Acting Company's "Saturday's Voyeur". It was an incredible experience, and I loved every moment, challenge, experience, everything that exciting experience brought me. While doing this, I had the awesome opportunity to be in a filmed reading of the musical, "Sam I Was" by Sam Wessels. An inspiring musical story about a young man and his battle with Leukemia. I was also lucky to be asked to be in the Showtime television show "Larry Wilmore's Race, Religion, and Sex: in Utah". This was pure fun, and I got to dress up as an LDS Missionary again!   While in the process of bringing Voyeur to a close, I was beginning the rehearsal process for "CHARM" by Cathleen Kayhill at Weber State. This produciton had done a lot for my acting and I was nominated for the Irene Ryan Competition with the Kennedy Center, American College Theatre Festival. Charm was also chosen to perform at the festival that would be held in LA this year. I am very excited and lucky to be part of such a wonderful production.
While closing Charm, I began the rehearsal process for "White Christmas" at Ogden's new Ziegfeld Theatre. The cast in this particular production, was very special. Every one of the shows I had done, brought new, life-long friendships for me. With certain cast mates, Directors, Production Designers, Producers, House Managers, even box office workers.
The productions I was in over 2012 include, The Cradle Will Rock- "Mr. Mister", Little Shop of Horrors- "Audrey II (Operator)", Saturday's Voyeur- "Moroni 'Bud' Rassmusen" Sam I Was- "Hand, and Tenor", Larry Wilmore's Race, Religion, and Sex: in Utah- "Float On Choir Member", Charm- "Ralph Waldo Emmerson", White Christmas- "Bob Wallace", Phantom Killer- "Phantom '

My relationships with my friends (of old and new) was very interesting to look at in hind sight for me. I had many people I had considered friends to me, felt the need to "take sides" in a break-up, or I just found myself without them in my time of need.   I understand, that what I was going through was not a walk in the park, I'm not saying I needed someone to walk with me, I just wanted to know that there were people that at least would be there for me at the beginning and end of the walk.  This is, I guess, the point where I found where my true friends were.
  I look back to where I was a year ago and what I had then, versus what I have now, and I can honestly say that what I have now, I would not trade for the world! This really hit me hard on my Birthday, I had the best birthday, yet! I spent the day with many of my favorite people, and realized how lucky I am to have such a large variety of people in my life that I get to have as my friends.

Along with having awesome friends and speaking of which,  I have noticed there is something that has happened to me a lot in the past and still continues on. One of my dear friends and I were talking about this, she told me that she loved my ability to become friends with people, now, this ability is a blessing, but also a curse. This thing happens that is called "friend-zoning".  I have noticed that I am the kind of guy that when I like someone, I start to pursue it, and because I am friendly, they put me in the friend zone all to soon. For those of you who don't understand or know what the friend zone is, it is when a person is trapped into an area from which they can't return (in most cases), causing them to never have the opportunity to have any sort of relationship that isn't more than platoic with the person they are interested in, because they are friend zoned. I am at a complete loss to why I am friend zoned so often, or what it all may come down to. If anyone has any answers, I would love to hear what you think.

Anyway, this is what the 2012 year has brought me and I look forward to 2013, because it will be even better than the previous year. Reaching goals, creating new ones, and becoming the happiest, and best me I can become!

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path, and leave a trail.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson